How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
