I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
