you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize