the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
