kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
