What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
