saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
