Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.

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  (973): i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex. http://tfl.nu/uspy
  Replies (13) Good night (3018) Bad night (674)
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  (415): View more from California

  I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."

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  (415): I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker." http://tfl.nu/s149
  Replies (75) Good night (1408) Bad night (5260)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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  (908): do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card? http://tfl.nu/jvvm
  Replies (219) Good night (992) Bad night (7077)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me

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  (978): we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me http://tfl.nu/ax47
  Replies (12) Good night (3268) Bad night (643)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

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  (518): i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you. (202): and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with http://tfl.nu/tq5v
  Replies (10) Good night (1683) Bad night (3539)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes

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  (419): i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes http://tfl.nu/0ze1
  Replies (6) Good night (1957) Bad night (990)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.

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  (902): Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog. http://tfl.nu/wgn2
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (1001)
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  (631): View more from New York

  ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight

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  (631): ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight http://tfl.nu/dytu
  Replies (30) Good night (2776) Bad night (698)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

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  (630): I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover http://tfl.nu/rxwn
  Replies (6) Good night (1041) Bad night (1256)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

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  (505): Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3 http://tfl.nu/ef92
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (1073)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."

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  (541): Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub." http://tfl.nu/xtt2
  Replies (15) Good night (2000) Bad night (871)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.

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  (570): Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends. http://tfl.nu/utpt
  Replies (5) Good night (425) Bad night (930)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're my favorite person

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  (913): I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that. (1-913): You're my favorite person http://tfl.nu/9772
  Replies (7) Good night (1283) Bad night (593)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.

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  (860): Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him. http://tfl.nu/v075
  Replies (0) Good night (802) Bad night (293)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?

  (727): View more from Florida

  ME.

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  (980): Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed? (727): ME. http://tfl.nu/931b
  Replies (0) Good night (439) Bad night (697)

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