There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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