Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

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(310): View more from California

She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"

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(585): View more from New York

Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?

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(512): View more from Texas

apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...

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(519): View more from Ontario

You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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(510): View more from California

apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar

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