Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
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Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.