Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
