I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
