So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.