found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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