Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

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  (908): It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers http://tfl.nu/97ey
  Replies (15) Good night (24622) Bad night (976)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

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  (403): found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun. http://tfl.nu/lec0
  Replies (67) Good night (3255) Bad night (711)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.

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  (970): totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off. http://tfl.nu/qavz
  Replies (34) Good night (6707) Bad night (585)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

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  (765): Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom. http://tfl.nu/gaio
  Replies (32) Good night (3225) Bad night (5786)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

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  (410): 260 beers this month. I need a new hobby. http://tfl.nu/ixdv
  Replies (37) Good night (3705) Bad night (1372)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.

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  (770): All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard. http://tfl.nu/f3jg
  Replies (3) Good night (2703) Bad night (702)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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  (623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt
  Replies (9) Good night (926) Bad night (3980)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.

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  (440): She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat. http://tfl.nu/5t46
  Replies (4) Good night (1523) Bad night (838)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  ...

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  (678): Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark (1-678): ... http://tfl.nu/supo
  Replies (8) Good night (1421) Bad night (628)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

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  (928): He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero http://tfl.nu/1qw2
  Replies (6) Good night (664) Bad night (2251)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.

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  (978): I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up. http://tfl.nu/kbsr
  Replies (0) Good night (1120) Bad night (382)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry

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  (803): He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry http://tfl.nu/mcy0
  Replies (4) Good night (313) Bad night (1160)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?

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  (512): well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...? http://tfl.nu/6jqe
  Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (456)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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  (405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp
  Replies (6) Good night (1048) Bad night (189)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego

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  (413): The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego http://tfl.nu/wcwo
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (136)

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