i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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