We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
