I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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