All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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