trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
