I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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