She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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