on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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