we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
