I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
