He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
