Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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