Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
