Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
