I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
