Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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