you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I could fuck to npr.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
