There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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