you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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