Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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