Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
