Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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