yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
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we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
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This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we should paint friendship bongs
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize