yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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