I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
