If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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