So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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