Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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