so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
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btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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