ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
