i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
