Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
