Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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