dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
