i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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