They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You are the jesus of drinking
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
