Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize