ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
