Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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