she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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