It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
