How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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