first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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