my sisters under your porch take her home
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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