Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
