i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
ttyl tear gas
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm like, not good at living.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
