bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
