Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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