you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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