I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do herpes really smell.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
