Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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