Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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