we're chasing vodka with high fives
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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