So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
