i already hear my dad disowning me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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