just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
