I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
