Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Someone signed my nipple.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
